FAQ – With Real Questions & Observations We’ve Receieved 

Matt has told me for weeks that I need to do a post with actual questions and observations we’ve received since announcing our news (some family and close friends were told sooner than our anniversary), so here goes starting with the most popular one.

Q: What gender is your baby to be?

A: I don’t know and this is on purpose. Matt and I discussed this at length and this is one area in which we disagreed with our option. Matt wanted to know his rationale being this is 2017, and we have amazing technology that can tell us, so let’s find out.

I really wanted the surprise so that on the day of baby’s birth Dr. G, or even Matt if the doctor will allow it can make the “It’s a <appropriate gender>” announcement.

The NIPT test I took profiles the baby’s chromosomes including gender ones. I had the login codes sent to Matt, so he knows and I don’t, and this is what we both want.

Q: Don’t you think Matt will slip up and tell you/his mom/his friends/your cat, etc.?

A: I have every confidence Matt will keep this secret. In the years in which we’ve been together he’s never once slipped up and told me any of the amazing presents he’s gotten me or the surprise dinner locations for Valentine’s Day or our Anniversaries.

I don’t even know where we are going on our anniversary celebration/babymoon weekend and he’s had that planned for a long time. The day he got the results he asked me one last time if I wanted to know and when I said I didn’t he said then it would stay a surprise until the birth.

I know he hasn’t told anyone human or feline. Some people have wanted to know more than others for gift giving or other reasons but despite them asking, cajoling or even pretending they know due to a gut feeling, Magic 8 Ball Shake or having been told by Matt, I know the only ones who know for sure are Dr. G and Matt.

Q: The doctors will slip up and tell you!

A: Dr.  G confirmed at my last appointment that I wasn’t going to find out. He joked he’d forgotten baby’s gender, anyhow.

When we go in for the anatomy scan they do scan that area and can tell us, but I plan to not watch that ultrasound, and ask them to not put that pic in our CD of pics and instead put the gender in a sealed envelope (I’ll bring them a  card and envelope for this purpose so I can’t see the results through it). I may have to not look at other ultrasounds at Dr. G’s office, but he’s generous with pics, so I’ll take the non gender revealing ones to post here.

Q: You do realize you can’t do a gender reveal party/shoot/video/cake at your baby shower then?

A: I do, and while I’ve seen some amazing examples of each of these and it would make great memories and a blog post having that moment in the birth day is something is worth it to me to have that trade off. That being said if Matt decides to bring a pink or blue teddy bear or cupcake or something similar to the hospital the day after to celebrate and take pics with, that would be amazing and I will take and post pics.

Q: Come on, you really want a girl or a boy!

A: Nope, we really want a healthy child and our arms are wide open to receive this child regardless of gender. We are just ecstatic to be parents.

Q: You will have siblings for your child/you’re done with this one, right?

A: I’m very blessed to have had a natural conception, or as Dr. G puts it a spontaneous pregnancy at 43, with my conception date estimated at February 3rd and having turned 44 in March. Both due to my age and other factors, we plan for this to be an only child as I am. We are good at planning, this baby was wanted and planned and yes, I’ve been asked if this was a happy accident, and no, it was not.

Q: I can’t see certain features in baby, are all the parts there?

A: Baby has gone through numerous ultrasounds including a very detailed one when I had my NT test and one at every visit with Dr. G except the last one. I haven’t seen baby’s elbows for example, but we’ve seen baby make a fist, we’ve seen baby kick,  and we’ve seen, in beautiful rainbow colors and heard the strong heartbeat, and as far as we know baby has all the parts you’d expect in a healthy, growing baby.

Q: I saw an episode of “Obese and Pregnant” and some women on there were over 250 lbs or more aren’t you worried that will happen to you? (This shocked me and Matt was stunned when I sent him the text with it on there.)

A: First, congratulations to the women on that show for making their dream of becoming a mom a reality. I know from experience what it’s like to think you may not get pregnant ever due to one or more factors and the joy of finding out that you are, in fact, pregnant.

Some doctors treat certain women with increased caution due to age, weight and/or preexisting medica conditons with extra care or visits and this can be appropriate. Were I younger, Dr. G would have only seen me once a month, however, he’s been very supportive of me and I’ve not felt belittled or scorned. I’ve never seen this show, but reality shows tend to make things happen to make it more exciting for viewers so I wonder how their doctors treat them especially on camera.

As for my own weight, though I’d worn size 6 size pants for a lot of my life, I’ve always had a stomach that buldged out. I’ve lost many kinds of weight through maintaining  a healthier diet and high impact exercise program twice in my life, once when I first started getting into running races,and once for my wedding. Both times, I was nowhere near having flat stomach and that’s OK, that’s how my body is.

In my first trimester I actually lost a few pounds as my diet which was already healthy became even more so and additionally sugar was cut to a minimum and alcohol was eliminated. My last weight at Dr. G’s office was 162, as it was with running shoes and clothes on this may have added a pound or two. So, no, I don’t expect to gain another 90 pounds on my petite frame in the next five months especially as I’m eating very healthy, walking and doing yoga.

If you have a question for me about my preganancy don’t be shy reply here, or use the contact form and I promise to answer it!

~ Danielle

Author: Over40FirstTimeMom.com

45 year old mother to our infant son, William, with my husband, Matt. We live in California with our mischievous cat, Inky. I love our local sports teams (Go Giants! Go Sharks!), photography, the beach, WWE, reading and now spending lots of time as a family with one kid and one cat.

3 thoughts on “FAQ – With Real Questions & Observations We’ve Receieved ”

  1. Danielle, Thank you for being you! You’re a breath of fresh air! Thank you for being a string and confident woman who knows that there is so much more that defines a woman other than age and weight. By the way, I had no idea how old you were, and I never considered you overweight. When I think of you, I remember your awesome attitude, and how you’ve always been kind to me and everyone. How exciting to be a mama soon! It’s a crazy job, the hardest I’ve had, and the most rewarding! Enjoy!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Nicole. It’s great to hear from you, I’m definitely learning a lot about society’s and my views on being a mom and motherhood through this wonderful experience. When you come to the Bay area next would love to join you for smoothies or lunch and catch up. 🙂


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